even the music doesnt help

This has to be one of the worst weekends ever- I got home on friday to find my isp had a headfit and disconnected my broadband- so I am currently in a bar on my laptop *sighs*
Most importantly- Vinny and I split on Friday. I am not goin into it here- you can call me inworld if you want- all that needs to be said is that I am paralysed. I am in deep shock- not really feelin anything yet. I have put my land up for sale- I cant see much point in SL without him, but that may change, of course.

means to an end......

Ok, I gots through a week of working now. MAN, I knew it would hit me hard, but SHEESH! I have been gettin home, loggin into SL to spend an hour or so with Vinny then falling into bed. It will get easier, of course, and moving will cut the travelling time, and fatigue. The picture? Well, its old of course, Matt Dawson hasnt been scrumhalf at Saints for a good while- but the new season starts in a couple of months, and I fully intend to be there for a few home games- really quite excited about it. My last post was pretty down, I am glad to report I am feelin way more positive now. I really do have to lower my expectations of people though. One of the benefits of the new job is membership of a Benevolent fund, and they will foot the bill (ha ha) for my chiropodist, and also, I am going to have aromatherapy again- major bonus! My uniform didnt turn up on Friday as promised, although I do have my safety boots- so I made a very fetching picture this morning, bathrobe and steel toecapped boots- dayumm, imma SMEXEH!

ultra-shopping

OMGS- I sometimes need supervising, I swear! Was feelin a bit down today- got a heap of stuff going on with the job starting on Monday, and all the things that need to be in place for that, plus trying to sort out a new flat. In addition, SL kinna bites right now. I am going through my regular disappointment cycle- one day I will stop expecting people to act fairly- just because I behave in a certain way doesnt mean a thing. I get tired and upset at being taken for granted, or taken for a fool, but I havent yet managed to stop trying to put myself out for others. However, I am as close as I have ever been- some things that have happened recently have deeply upset me, and right now, I feel like withdrawing. It will pass, it always does- cant teach an old dog new tricks- or an old bish either, for that matter.

This rather depressed mood led to some retail therapy this morning- and omgs, only in SL- I bought the parcel of land adjacent to our home- its been for sale for ages, but today, I needed cheering up. So, I put in the waterfall, extended our lagoon and put out a pile of trees n stuff, I do love our home- a lot of work, and I will be tinkering for ages, but, its more or less in place, now.

Has it made me feel better? No, not really, took my mind off things though, and thats about all I can hope for, I suppose.

Headbanging

Ooooh, had a heap of fun Monday night- went to the Metal Hammer Golden Gods awards. Gettin there was a challenge- the classic cock up with tickets not arriving. The minute I saw the guy responsible was called Toby, I KNEW it would be a farce- and it was! Still, got it sorted and had somebody meet us at the venue with replacement tickets- VIP passes would have been good- but hey...*grins*

The show is apparently going out on MTV2, tho not too sure how- unless they call it the beep awards beep show- Oderus was hosting and LMAO- the guy is incapable of more than 3 words without a profanity- and two of those three will refer to shagging or drugs. Anyhoo- was a good while since I had been to any live music- so was niiiiiice to be in the pit again. Saw Testament, Apocalyptica, In Flames and Children of Bodom first of all then on to what was, for me the main event- a set by Disturbed. Sheeeeeeeeeit, but they rocked. The sound was crap, as expected- 5 bands in jus over 3 hours doesnt allow for too much work on the mixing desk- but who cared! David Draiman is an awesome showman- and as usual his voice was aural sex. As far as I know the next foray is to see Clutch in August, with a couple of things set up for December along the way. One side effect is that I am now desperate to get working on my next tattoo- I want to have a phoenix, to match the one on my shoulderblade, on my upper arm, with the tail feathers curling round my arm down to my wrist- like the ink that Callie wears in secondlife. Will go talk to the artist with pics n stuff this week- get an idea of time n cost

Peaceful

Took this shot this morning- its an unusal one- the adjacent sims were down, so this sunset on the water was a lucky coincidence. Vinny was kinna wiped out, so we were just chattin - I love those times. I have a pretty busy SL, so its not every day we get the chance. I have just finished remodelling my rental land- thats where we were, as home was offline. I am pretty pleased with it- 3 very different houses, an awesome wooden build by friend- so damn talented- a tiki house and a modern glass n stone place. I made a lagoon and a spit, which is where we are in that picture.
All in all, my lives are pretty peaceful right now- maybe its the calm before the storm *grins* I am enjoying my SL more than I have for a long time and RL is perkin up too- with the new job I am starting at the end of the month. Sadly, I couldnt swing the finance to move home before I start, so I have a couple of months of 2 hr journeys to face- but hell- whatever it takes to be earning a living again.

Thats the view from my bedroom window- that was a pretty spectacular dawn earlier on this year. English weather is a bit of a global joke, of course, as a race, we are obsessed with discussing it- but so would you be if you had the variation and unpredictability that comes from living on a small island on the edge of several major air and sea currents. Right now, its almost 3am, and its raining- not in itself remarkable. However- the weather here has been glorious for some weeks, warm and sunny- it rained last night too- and the SMELL! It was positively tropical- that smell of vegetation, dust and warmth that comes with a tropical shower. That is reinforced by the sun in the day, rain at night pattern. Damn, I love living here! I only wish we had the tropical temperatures to go with the current weather pattern- its warm, but many of you would snort derisively- its high sixties, low seventies mostly.

Gamers

Sheesh! two posts in one day- but, I couldnt resist this opportunity to add a quote...

Well, I guess we are all gamers, by definition. There are so many levels though. I see myself as a low level gamer- I mostly act, react and interact in a natural way, although I do use fantasy in a light way- my pregnancy for example. I do struggle with some of the rp in Secondlife- I just dont understand it, I suppose. Nekos I get to an extent- and, I love the look. Vamps, demons, drows, faes- I get the look, but not the lifestyle. BDSM- well, in my experience pretty much everybody is fantasising and few understand the reality- BDSM is not abuse. Its a dangerous thing to get into if you dont know exactly what you are doing. Gor is a total mystery to me and doesnt really appeal at all. That doesnt make it bad- just not for me.
This post is really to give me an opportunity to quote a friend- damn, I had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard at this...[4:08] Marlena Petrov: oh!! I accidentally went shopping @ gorean sim yesterday??[4:09] Callie Carr: OMG[4:09] Marlena Petrov: so I posted *lets anyone or thing watching know she has shields, a combat system and a BIG gun...and PMS!!!!

I suppose I am a bit of a fish out of water- being a non rp'er in a virtual world- I dont get so much of what happens. The thing that makes SL such fun though, is exactly this diversity- you never know WHAT you might see next. I may not understand what you do- but hey- isnt it great that you can do it?