annual review

I just read this blog from the beginning- a year since I started it, and almost everything has changed. I have a job- I live in a different place in a different town- and my SL is totally transformed. I was happy and married then- went through a horrendously painful split- now I am happy and collared. We arent partnered- Draf hasn't asked me and probably never will, its not his way- but I am secure enough not to need any more than I have with him- in fact- I am overflowing with joy. It doesnt mean I wouldnt be proud to have his name on my profile- of course I would- its just not as important as it once may have been. He shows me more care and respect than any man before him- in any world. The last time I gushed about my love for a man it all went badly pear shaped- but that is because it was all based on lies and deceptions. Draf and I rp- a lot more than I ever have before- but the bedrock of our relationship is our ability to connect on all levels- we are Master and pet first and foremost, but we also have a strong vanilla streak in our relationship- we are SL, but we have a big RL connection too.
The picture is our home, looking back from the beach- out front is a japanese garden, and in the distance is our lagoon and the shooting range beyond that- yup- almost 3 years in SL and I finally have a gun- and its FUN! A couple of nights ago Draf made a beautiful picture which hangs behind his desk- it is the symbol that means Real, True- and we renamed the land Real- because it is our home- and its what we are. We are real in our relationship, real in the people we are- real in every sense. *grinz* this is turning into a Drafichi lovefest rather than a review- but yanno what- SO WHAT!!! he is such a huge chunk of my life, its appropriate.
A couple of things stuck out from the years blog entries- and one is the list of friends I published then- only one remains close to me- Casper- I love you so fuckin much, darlin. This guy knows me better than anybody- he has seen me at my best and at my worst- a LOT! As for the rest- some turned out to be assholes- I am sure they know who they are without me pointing out the bullshit nests they live in- but most just drifted away to an SL that didnt have me in it- that will happen- I do it myself- it seems that February is my annual clear out the friends list time- when I become totally disenchanted with my SL and the people I know.
I DJ rarely now- the bizarre hours I work means I cant be inworld at the same times each week, but I fill in whenever I can- although my Draf time is quite precious to me- so I sometimes let opportunities go rather than DJ when he is inworld. The club scene in SL is so riddled with drama, now that I dont spend so much time in them, my drama levels have dropped - in fact- disappeared. I suspect wiping out my friends list has something to do with that too.......
The tattoo I talked about last year begins to appear next month, I am sooo excited by that- and be sure a pic will appear.
So, in summary- a year of change- of rebirth- the phoenix is truly a good symbol for this blog- the fires of destruction were raging at one or two points- but I emerged- and each time I have learned- I have adapted- I have grown. What will this next year bring? I know what I hope for- I know what I want- and that in itself is a huge change from a year ago- perhaps in a years time I will be commenting on how my hopes have become a reality- I certainly intend to do everything I can to bring that about!

WOW is all I can say- damn but SL is such a roller coaster. I have always said that few ever really leave- and that includes me- I hide out in an alt sometimes, but my addiction is too strong to leave completely. I cleared out my f/l and was pretty much as low as I have ever been inworld- in fact, I was about to take a total break, when....... I was hanging out and this hot guy walked by- couldnt resist shooting him an IM, we got talking- we went dancing and then.......OMFG!!!!!
I have never had the slightest inclination to be collared since Harry left, two years ago- the Doms I have seen in SL simply ARENT- and I care too much about myself to walk into an abusive relationship. This man is pure Dom- for real. We have been together constantly since we met- I submitted to him and took his collar a month ago now- and I have never been happier. We have totally made over the land, and now have a dojo and a japanese garden along with lots of other stuff- yeah, I am still a "stuff" whore- probly always will be. Drafichi Lightfoot is the man who has changed my whole world- I had no intention of getting seriously involved with anybody in SL and certainly not a BDSM relationship- and here I am- grinning like crazy inworld and out. There will be plenty more about him- rest assured *smiles* as for the rest of my SL- I talk to the few people who I kept close to me- I DJ when I can- even less often now as my Lords pleasure comes before anything- not because he demands it- but because I choose. My new SL is pleasing me greatly. Right now, i have to run as RL is tugging at my arm- trains to work, idiots to tolerate *giggles*

DAMN-its bright out here!

Yeah- as promised- a RL update- well, in truth, SL is pissing me off to the max right now. I am so sick and tired of it. apparently all my "friends" are so damn busy they dont have any spare time. I got tired of being lonely in there- so fuck it- cleared out my f/l and I am spending less and less time there- more and more in RL.

Spring is trying hard to arrive- its a fabulous day today- i may just head off to the beach for a walk shortly- but I MUST do my housework- last day of a block of rest days, back on early shift tomorrow so I wont have much opportunity. On the subject of work- the bitch that punched me was in court on Wednesday- I wasnt called, so she must have pleaded guilty. A good result! So- what did i do with my days off? I went down to the Isle of wight to spend a few days with friends- who i havent seen for a year, eeek! Looks like i will be heading back for this years Festival- not the most exciting line up- but its always fun- and Neil Young will be cool to see. Last night, i went into London to see Volbeat- and OMG- they were awesome- I love the tunes, but the guys put on a great show- utube link follows- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Qk-m2ZyS88&feature=related The funniest thing is the resemblance Michael has to David Cameron- have you ever seen them in the same rooom........?

I am on a diet *sighs* its actually kinna easy- although last week was a disaster- life with my friends revolves round takeaways, WAY too much booze and NO exercise- fun- but not conducive to weight loss *grinz* Next time I must take over their kitchen- hahaha. The diet is all part of my makeover- I decided i need to get my ass in gear before I am too old to do it- I have a lot of life in me- and I am tired of hiding away- I was never a shrinking violet- time to go out and grab life by the balls again- so- watch out LOL!

Playin poker online with some of the guys from work tomorrow evening- thats a heap of fun- and maybe I will take a little money from them again- who knows.

Renaissance

Well- damn, but who says you cant teach an old dog new tricks? I had a revelation this week on the subject of drama. If you boil it down to its essence- its people running round talking about things that arent anybody elses business. The third party then feels moved (or obliged) to respond with word or deed- and then goes on to repeat- etc etc etc. Yeah, I know its kinna obvious- but OMG- if ya jus keep ya mouth shut in the first place.........!

OK OK- look back at my blog- I have been as guilty as the next bish- but- unlike most- I try not to keep repeating the same pattern. I have an over developed sense of fairplay- and I get outraged at injustice either to me or my friends which has got me into a heap of trouble in the past.

The thing is, people will think what they want to about you, few will take the time to actually ask. So- I am pretty ruthless now- I cut people at the first hint of drama. That isnt to say that, in time- I wont reconsider- my closest friends have all been off my f/l at one time or other. I warn people that they are crossing my no drama line, or my comfort zone is being invaded- but- if they cant or wont keep that away from me- they are gone in a heartbeat. What I WONT do any more is run round bleating about it- cuz that is DRAMA- get it?

I must say- looking at the antics of people from my past is seriously amusing- watching them recreate the past with all the flaws still intact- hearing about them running round like schoolkids, trying to collect friends or ostracise those they have decided to hate this week- dammit people- if you put half as much effort into enjoying yourselves you would be having a 24/7 BALL.

Now- its high time I put a bit of effort into RL- next post will have an update- all sorts of things going on.

The song remains the same

LMAO- a wise man once told me nobody ever leaves SL really- an its so true! I took a break for a few days- but I missed DJing so much- I came back as ma alt- Ornamental Dagger, and was havin a lot of fun, keeping my distance from the problem while the shit settled. Anyway- it didnt work out- the shit is going on and on and on. Amusingly- its going on without me- I am way too busy havin fun in ma re-designed SL- new clubs to play at- a LOT of old friends comin to see me and new ones growing closer. Actually- part of the fun is watchin the latest antics.
I have even restarted a DJ group- it embarrasses the fuck outta me- but as I dont play a regular slot any more, its hard for ppl to know when or where I am playing.
On the RL front- I had great news about my assault- they have identified the bishes and warrants have been issued- so I am lookin forward to my day in court! I have just had a week of rest days- its been great- drinkin and playin SL- even doin some RL too!!!!

...or is it?

an what exactly is it the end of? Well- I have left SL - to give me time to think about that. The campaign of bitching and upset from my ex, his new squeeze and a group of bishes associated with them has continued. The guy was with me for a year- he knows exactly what buttons to press- and omgs- he cant resist it. Despite a declaration from the owner of the club we all work at that further actions would result in people being banned- the thing hasnt stopped at all- its getting worse in fact. The damage that is being done to the club I loved is apparent- the atmosphere is appalling now. I worked there for 17 months- but *shrugs*
I am well aware that almost nobody leaves SL- some take a break- some come back as a new account- some just come back an say fuck you to the haters. I have no idea which it will be for me- thats what I am thinking about. Dont get me wrong- I may sound like a paranoid- but I am NOT- no victim here- just somebody worn out with the constant harassment and devastated by the scarcity of support- even really close friends have told me I am imagining stuff. Anyway- I am not intending this blog to be full of that asshole and his coven- they can get on with their lives- I just wish they would let me get on with mine. Anybody with any morals or compassion would have withdrawn to give me a little space to heal- but well- that aint gonna happen, so I will deal in my own way.
I find I have nothing else to say about anything else- so, I am taking myself off for a hot, scented bath, a book- maybe a nap before work tonight.
I will be back- at some point, in some way- maybe not in SL- but back in some way.

here endeth the lesson...

well- probly not! The SL drama continues- after the chatlogs in the last post- I decided I really couldnt be bothered with the whole thing- but mannnnnn- the kindergarten contingent cant bear to let go. People are lining up on the battlefield- totally oblivious to the fact that over here- the interest is absolutely zero- in fact- I left the field weeks ago. There have been all sorts of manipulations, bitchin, lies and misconceptions. For me- I just ignore the lot of em- players and children. I haz fun with ma friends and anybody who sees it differently- well- its your problem- not mine. It is a real shame that there are people in SL I no longer get to laugh an chat with- but I am not losing sleep, trust me on that.
Enough on SL- what of RL? well, giggin is resuming- Shinedown, Exodus and probly 'tallica comin up in the next couple of months so thats cool. I had a few days off work last week- I was punched in the stomach by a drugged up teenage girl. It is something that happens- rarely, fortunately- and I wasnt badly hurt- luckily it was a fist and not a knife. The police seem confident they can identify her from cctv- and the company will prosecute- they always do on staff assaults.
In summary- neither SL nor RL is sparkling right now- time to put a little more effort into both to get them back on MY track- having fun!